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The Imam's Daughter: My Desperate Flight to Freedom
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 6 hours and 52 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Zondervan
Audible.com Release Date: January 4, 2011
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English
ASIN: B004I1VFXS
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
An extremely informative book. What one reads in the media about Palestinian refugees and their unwillingness to assimilate into the culture of their chosen country is minimal compared to the details in this book. The cruelty imposed by men of the Islamic culture toward women, and their women's fearful and hopeless acceptance of that cruelty is astounding. Most astonishing is learning that it will transcend generations regardless of Western influence in their chosen country. By threat of arranged marriages and deportation back to their third world country, fathers intimidate "unworthy" daughters to accept the unimaginable. The Imam's daughter endured rape, beatings and even threats against her life - all in the name of honor for her family.Without revealing too much of this fabulous book's plot, I shall conclude by imploring everyone to read it, learn from it and pass on the knowledge.
Author Hannah Shah's parents were Pakistani from a rural, agrarian lifestyle, she grew up in northern England with them. They had run from the poverty trap of rural Pakistan. Her mother was tolerant of other Muslims of differing nationality living nearby, but her father refused to show respect to anyone except other Pakistani Muslims, not even nearby Indian and Armenian Muslims. Actually, he hated all other people, and he was the community imam - religious teacher and leader. (Jews were at the bottom of his hierarchy - for taking land from Muslims in Israel and Palestine.) He viewed hits adopted country as a land of immorality, populated by infidels. His education had stopped at age eleven - thereafter he went to a religious school that taught the Qur'an. Madrassas were better funded than public schools. Hannah's mother had attended school for less than a year, and was barely able to read or write. Home discussions were in Punjabi or Urdu, never English. Hannah had 4 brothers and two sisters. The girls were less welcome.Whatever job someone secured overseas, even if delivering pizzas, would allow him to return to Pakistan as a wealthy man. Hanna's parents initially viewed Britain as a temporary way to earn money and return home. Girls were seen as in need of constant protection for the family's honor - a daughter going off the rails brings more shame on her family than if a son does. The women on her street were obsessed with shame and honor.Most of the men changed when they went to work as taxi drivers, policemen, engineers, salespeople. None of the women of her parents' generation worked, but some of the younger ones did - at least until they married; and they always kept themselves properly covered. Marrying first cousins was common - intermarriage was part of the defense system of clans who seemed to be permanently at war. Marriages were arranged. Good or bad luck was often attributed to someone's moral or spiritual behavior.Hannah's dad's life was defined by religious duties. His main concerns were praying 5X/day and going to the mosque to preach. Often he traveled to other nearby cities for religious events at other mosques. He had no hobbies except for watching TV, preferably a holy man giving a lesson or some popular music in Pakistan.Hannah's dad left his factory job by the time she was born and began working as the local Imam - no wage, surviving on what the community donated. Dad claimed income support and Housing Benefit, as well as unemployment benefits. From age three her task was to learn the Qur'an in classic Arabic, the original language in which it was written. If she didn't recite the Arabic perfectly, she was beaten. They were never taught the actual meaning of the words they recited, and she didn't have a clue what any of it meant.Because her father was the Imam, her parents were pillars of the community. To outsiders, he appeared sweet and gentle, In private, he was cruel and hateful, prone to fits of rage and violence, and beat her mother about one/month - tepid curry, weak tea, wrinkled clothing, dust on the rim of a guest's cup. He never praised Hannah, and sometimes told her he had never wanted a girl. (Newborn girls were often met with silent regret - the curse of the dowry system.) In India and Pakistan, female children were viewed as so costly they were sometimes killed at birth. Hannah eventually realized her culture was predisposed to loathe and abuse women and girls - though that was not true of all Pakistani Muslim men. When her brother Billy tried to help Mum, Dad would fly into a rage if he found out. Making the call to prayer on the mosque loudspeaker system was considered fitting work for a man.Every weekday after a white minibus came down the street, with the driver shouted in Punjabi 'Time to go to the mosque!' She hated going to the mosque. A converted municipal library, it was segregated with different rooms for male and female worshipers. It was always freezing inside. Donating money to the mosque brought honor to the family, and the wives of the male administrators ensured everyone knew who had donated how much. Before prayers one must have running water to wash the face and nostrils, then the ears, followed by the neck and arms - the right always before the left. Next the feet are cleaned, including toes and ankles, and finally the hands. Needing to interrupt Qur'an lessons at the mosque to go to the bathroom brought a whack with a cane. Sometimes Hannah tried to skip the mosque lessons - only to have her father search her out.One day five-year-old Hannah tried to stop her father from hitting Mum - that earned her a beating. From then on, instead of hitting Mum, Dad hit Hannah. Everyone else in the family pretended not to notice.Her best white friends, in contrast, had amazing lives - never beaten by their parents or worrying about bringing shame on the community. Hannah's mother would not allow her to go to their homes. Swimming lessons started at school - but her parents wrote a note saying she couldn't go because she didn't have a swimsuit and had ear problems. The teachers found a swimsuit for Hannah and a hat to protect her ears - but she still couldn't go.Then he began sexually molesting her - 'punishing' her for her evil. He threatened to kill Hannah if she told anyone. First weekly, this became routine - for ten years. Then he began locking her in the cellar with no food or water - for hours, sometimes even days, naked and cold. Once he caught Mum bringing food to Hannah - and predictably flew into a rage, beating her. Sometimes she missed school.Once Hannah snuck out and visited her two white school friends. They had separate rooms, toys, a backyard with flowers. Hannah decided that was what she wanted.Mum decided it was time for Hannah to start doing domestic chores at age six. Another source of beatings, and both her mother and father yelled at her. The worst job was washing clothes - by hand in the kitchen sink, taking all day Saturday. Sunday was ironing day.Nearly seven she laughed at one of the jokes while watching a cartoon. Dad's response - "Shut up! I don't ever want to year you laughing or even see you smile." Hannah refused to let him take her laughter.Pakistani Muslims are generally viewed as inferior in Saudi Arabia, because they are not Arabs. The Saudi Arabs were direct descendants from Mohammed, and hence the most exalted.Once every two months Mum took the children to the library, and each was allowed to choose five books. Her father never read anything about England, whether newspapers, magazines, or books.At age 11 Hannah was nearing the time for an arranged marriage. (Marrying someone for love was the zenith of dishonor, 'proving' there must have been inappropriate relations.) Her father kept raping her. She began thinking of escape, praying for her father to die, and thinking that Allah was cruel and avenging. Then learning about other religions and about conversions, she began further questioning of her own. Thinking of running away, suicide. Her mother hit her, first time ever, for cutting her hair into bangs at age 12. She borrows and wears a friend's Western clothes to school. She wasn't allowed to listen to popular music.The invasion of Iraq in 2003 turned locals against Hannah and her Muslim relatives and friends. Her community of Pakistani Muslims was mostly anti-Saddam because he didn't follow sharia law and other Islamic customs. But they didn't like the idea of British soldiers fighting Muslims. The 'good news' was that Hannah was doing well in school and was awarded a prize with which to buy books. But then she became a truant, smoked and tried drinking, and acted out a school. Conversely, she'd linger after school and talk to her favorite teacher - who eventually got a social worker, Omar - a Pakistani Muslim.She reluctantly tells him of the beatings and constant work, but not the rapes. Omar goes to her father. Her father denies hitting her, then goes berserk beating and threatening her as soon as Omar leaves. Her cry for help had taken Hannah deeper into Hell. Now 15, and she wasn't doing well at school, and about at the end of her education. Hannah knew her parents were planning to ship her off to a cousin in Pakistan. Approaching her 16th birthday, she found a passport application on the table made out in her name.Somehow, Hannah is allowed to enroll in further studies. Again, she meets and tells a favorite teacher part of her turmoil. Again, a social worker is recommended - this time Hannah insists on 'no Muslims.' She does well in school, and then learns her father is taking her to Pakistan the next day - to be married. She calls a Muslim friend who had escaped such a fate in Pakistan, and they plan an escape. Step One - calling Hannah's social worker. That led to Hannah being taken to safety in the home of one of her favorite teachers.First her father, then every family member came - one/day to try and persuade Hannah to relent. She refused. After several months, she converted to Christianity. Then it was 18 months living in housing for young people without family support. Hospitalization for depression. Nightmares. Then doing well at school. She asks her family to come to her baptism ceremony - instead they show up with an angry mob of 40-some Pakistani men armed with hammers, sticks and knives, with her father in the front. Then they melt away.Hannah goes through with the baptism - at a different location. Soon afterwards she learns her family has told one of Hannah's friends that she must renounce Christianity, and until she did, they would hunt her down without rest. It would only when she returned to them, Islam, and the man she was supposed to marry would it end. For the next year Hannah moved every three months or so. Meanwhile, every Friday her father handed out photocopies of her photo with his phone number at the bottom.She bought an English translation of the Qur'an and read it at home while continuing her university studies. While reading it she realized that many of the statements her father had told her weren't true. Nothing about arranged marriages, nor women being veiled head to toe. It did say husbands were allowed to beat their wives for ill-conduct, and that a wife's worth was her fertility.At the end, Hannah finds true love and marries.
This is one of the best personal confessional stories I have ever read. I was glued to the book. I think I read it in two major sit-downs, and that's pretty fast for me. Checking the start and end dates of the read it amounts to five days!Hannah's story is a window into a different world. Certainly not all Islamic families are this way, but there is no question that Islam played a part in the situation and how the events unfolded. Certainly not all Islamic fathers are abusive, controlling, and rapists, but Islam was certainly used to justify his behavior and, more importantly, allow the family and community to excuse it. Certainly not all Islamic families will attempt to kill their daughters over rebellion to a forced marriage, over family "honor," and apostasy, but one hears way too many that do, and many are not as lucky as Hannah. While the events of Hannah's story are at the extreme, the author lets us see the underlying logic and foundations of her community.I grew to love Hannah. No child should ever be subject to such abuse, starting at the age of six. No woman should be subject to such control and what amounts to enslavement. It's a tribute to Hannah's shrewdness, desire for freedom, and survival instincts that she broke free of her repression. It's a credit to her that she now works to help other women in such circumstances. It's a credit to her that she has forgiven all, including her father, and come to a better understanding of Islam, which she finds in the ideal to be not as constraining as how her community practices it, though I wasn't exactly convinced. It was such a relief to find that in the end she found love, happiness, and a religion that believes in a loving God.
A story of a young girl raised in the household of an extremist, religious, Imam, Hannah Shan does not hold back in revealing the fear and the years of living with physical, emotional and sexual abuse from a man who hijacked a religion and disseminated falsehoods to violently control the women in the family. As she continues her journey of independence after fleeing abuse, she learns the truths of her religion, begins to trust others, and experiences choices never offered before. A great book of strength and overcoming obstacles to survival. It is for all who think they understand Islam... but have only been exposed to the cruel, extremist side. Hannah tells the story of what she found upon exploring the Quran for herself and realizing the untruths of her father's interpretation.
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